Two weeks . . . of success

Two weeks ago, 14 full days, I started to seriously try to incorporate a full hour of exercise into each day. The American Cancer Society recommends at least 30 minutes a day, five days a week. There is other evidence that an hour a day is optimal, especially too reduce the risk of some cancers, including breast cancer. For women to NOT gain weight as they age, the current recommendation is an hour a day, seven days a week.

How this will work out when I go back to work, I have no clue. There are still several months to figure that out. However, for the past two weeks, on most weekdays, after my radiation appointment, I've gone to the Community Center and either walked--at least 3 miles at 15 or fewer minutes per mile--or done the Couch to 5K running program--finishing up a full 5K walking after the "running" is finished. I've attempted to be there and sweating for at least an hour a day. A couple of times, I had to cut the time short due to other conflicts; one day, for instance, I had to go before I went to radiation and I forgot to wear my compression sleeve, and going home to get it cut my time short. In general, though, I've been getting about an hour a day of exercise and have completed two weeks of the C25K program.

I can't say I like it. In fact, I pretty much detest it. I wish there were a magic exercise pill.

But there isn't.

I've tried exercise videos, but those don't work so well for me. It's too easy for me to quit, go half-assed, or procrastinate. Plus, my house doesn't lend itself to exercise in front a TV. The ceiling fan in the family room is inconvenient for over-arm movements, the floor has to be clear--which means I have to nag people to pick up their crap, and in the living room, there isn't room near the TV. Walking outside is fine, but with the peripheral neuropathy I have in my toes, the unevenness of sidewalks and curbs an issue.

I'm actually quite surprised at how much I prefer walking in circles at the Community Center. For starters, I'm pretty competitive at times, and I compete against myself with the timer. There's nothing like knocking 10 seconds off your previous lap. Second, I am in love with the little silver lap counters. I can't wimp out when I can increase that number. Today, I'd only intended to walk 4.5 miles, but instead did 5.0 miles just to make an even 40 laps. Third, the temperature remains relatively consistent, and that makes me happy. Fourth, I get excited when the fan by the weight area is on and I get that brief blast of air--on the days we go clockwise. If you had asked me two weeks ago if I'd want to walk laps indoors, around and around in a circle, for an hour or more a day, I'd have scoffed in your face. But I do rather enjoy it, I'm almost embarrassed to say.

I've been waiting for my blood counts to come up and to see what kind of skin changes I'm going to have from the radiation before I venture out to the weight or cardio machines. The last thing I need is to come in contact with MRSA right now if I can avoid it. Since I struggle with diligence, it's just best if I don't even take the risk for now. Once I'm finished with radiation, though, I'll have to reconsider.

Meanwhile, I'll keep plodding away for an hour a day, most days, round and round and round the blue track.

I will admit I'm sleeping better, have more energy, and am hating it less than I did two weeks ago. Maybe some day I'll even enjoy it. Maybe some day I'll look forward to it?

Continuing to Crawl Out of the Hole

I just realized today that I haven't really watched any TV for a few days and much of what I have seen has bored me. This is yet another indicator that I'm crawling out of the chemo hole.

The smackdown appears to be over! I have more energy and more inclination to be involved in life. This either bodes well or not so well for my children:) They are pretty used to minimal involvement at this point. Tynan will be happier, but I'm not so sure about the feral teens.

Also, while I don't enjoy it, the idea of exercise doesn't seem overwhelming right now. I actually finished 3 days (one week) of the Couch to 5k program this week. Day one sucked big time. Day 2 was pretty bad, but today, day 3 wasn't horrible. That's about the best I can say. It wasn't horrible.

I hope it gets better. People have told me it gets better. I've read testimonials that say it gets better.

When do the endorphins kick in?

I watch my kids run and I think, "Why do my legs not move like that?" It looks so easy when they do it.

Forget what I said before

about a "modicum of being in shape." I lied. I flat out lied. I started the Couch to 5K (C25K) running program today.

Oh. My. Goodness.

Nothing can make a person feel more out of shape than getting out of breath during a 60 second jog. I seriously didn't think I'd make it to the end of the first 60 seconds. When those chimes rang and I heard the command to "WALK," I'm not sure I've ever been more relieved. I thought I was going to cry, to throw my ipod, to just out and out quit when I heard that the workout was half over. ONLY HALF OVER!!! What the hell?!?!?! I actually briefly thought that perhaps my ipod had been paused for a while or something. It had to nearly be OVER, not just halfway over. I was dying.

I did it, though. For the entire 30 minutes. In fact, by the end, I was kind of surprised that it was time to stop. It sure felt like it.

But I stuck it out. And when my ipod told me that it was cool-down time, I was actually a little surprised. That second half, like the second half of a tank of gas in my van, went a lot faster than the first half.

I won't lie and say that it felt good. But it did get a little easier. I still ached longingly for each "WALK" segment. The running never felt easy, but it did become less horrific. Still bad. I actually hate it and nearly always have, but I did it.

I'm pretty committed to finishing the entire 9 week program. I'd like to like running. I used to say the same thing about fish. I wanted to like fish. I tolerate it now. I've found some enjoyment in it. I've started to look forward to it and choose it as a food option over other foods that I've always liked. This experience with fish gives me hope for running.

Day 1 of Week 1 of the C25K program done. If nothing else, I'll not have to do it again:)

Update: right after originally posting this entry, I was playing Majong at www.pbs.org, and uncovered the most appropriate quote from The Buddha:

There are only two mistakes one can make along the road of truth: Not going all the way, and not starting.