Although I was all freaked out, it was really a simple thing that was over before I knew it. The most difficult challenge was the "Who's on First" conversation I had with the surgeon:
Dr. Not-so-bad-looking-in-scrubs: "So, you want this on your right side?"
Dr. Nsblis: "We did the biopsy on the left?"
Dr. Nsblis: "Correct?"
Dr. Nsblis: "biopsy on left so port on right, correct?"
Me: "Do NOT play these games with me after giving me meds..."
This biggest surprise? After waking up and seriously contemplating sucking on the IV bag I was so thirsty, I was given a dixie cup of crushed ice (the best damn ice I've ever eaten, by the way). That wasn't the surprise. What surprised me was that when they then offered me something to drink, the first option mentioned was Coke and Pepsi. Really? There are no other healthier options? Like....um....water?
After being warned that I was officially "under the influence" so I was not to make any important decisions nor was I to sign any contracts for 24 hours, oh, and I probably shouldn't drive, Amy and I left the hospital, Vicodin in hand, and soon found out why I was not to make decisions. Both places I suggested for lunch were closed. Not good at making decisions. The Chinese food we had was good, though.
Then we came home and watched Gran Torino, which was great. And I found Vicodin removes any desire I have to move.
As if spending 7 hours outside at soccer practice today, the older boys decided they needed to go to the fair for one last time, and they headed out just around the time Louis got home from work. So, kid-free at dinner time, we decided on sushi, which Amy and I ate while watching Fired Up. I don't know if it is because I have low brow humor, the Vicodin, the overall stress of the last few weeks, or the fact that Amy and I just laugh a lot when we are together, but it had us laughing out loud. I'm sure that the movie itself deserves no credit, because it was pretty crappy, in retrospect.
So, port in. We shall call her Portia, which derives from the latin "offering" or "something that is given" which seems to work well....