Comfort

Well, I wrote a 12K entry. Pasted it into word to spell check. Now I can't paste it back here. Either this entry will have to wait until I figure this out or until I decide to retype it. Drat.

----woo hoo....opening up google chrome fixed the problem.

I haven't written much this past week. I simply haven't had the energy. Apparently, I have enough energy to either teach or conference, but clearly not for both activities. Just one of those two activities compels at least a two hour nap. I'm not sure how it works, but I'm pain free during the day, and as the sun sets, the pain increases, until it's enough to keep me from falling asleep by bedtime. However, the pain is nowhere near the intensity as last cycle and the new pain meds either put me asleep or take it away, I'm not sure which. Regardless, it doesn't wake me up, so that's good. Basically, I'm just wiped out. I get tired standing. I can't muster the energy to go grill my brussels sprouts. I got them cleaned, cut, and marinating. Just. Can't. Do. That. Last. Step.

Sigh. I've never been what I would consider "high energy," but this is ridiculous. It is what it is.

I am working hard to find pleasure in simple things. And the most recent simple things are comfortable clothes, most specifically, warm things.

I've clearly never been fixated on how I dress. Some would say comfort has always been my imperative, which is a pretty good description of my jeans/t-shirt/jacket/sweater/mostly natural fiber approach. I don't do heels. I don't do panty hose. I rarely wear 100% unnatural fiber. I own very little that needs special laundering. Heck, I rarely even buy brand new clothing...I prefer others to have broken my clothes in for me already.

However, recently I've become quite attached to warm, soft fibers. Or would that be soft, warm fibers. I think soft is more important right now. I guess my nerve endings are more sensitive than normal.

I practically live in my Smartwool socks. If I'm not wearing Smartwool, I'm wearing fleece socks, and my favorites are the ones that are "aloe infused." Unfortunately, I have large feet and most fleece socks (the fuzzy fleece, which I just discovered is called "plush" fleece) are just a little too small and tend to slide off, but they still rock my world. I imagine that the more shaped, more expensive ones would fit a little better, but there you have it. I'm cheap and am willing to make do in this one instance.

Where I'm not willing to make do though is pajama pants. Oh my gosh. The little bit of heaven I bought at Wal*Mart on Wednesday still makes me happy. Mine are plain blue, but otherwise are just like these. Needless to say, in planning in advance for next semester when I won't be working, I think I will be getting a couple more pair. They are soft; they are warm; they are soft; they are not overly warm; they are soft; they are comfortable; most importantly, they are soft. That they cost less than $10 is a huge bonus.

I do have quite a large collection of pajama pants, most of which I've purchased at Goodwill. Gotta love Goodwill. Gotta love people who buy expensive pajamas and then donate them to Goodwill. If you are one of those people, God Bless you. My family thanks you. I have silk pajama pants. I have flannel pajama pants. I have super soft cotton pajama pants. In general, I don't do artificial fiber pajama pants. However, I decided to take a risk on these plush, fleece pants because I heart my plush fleece robes so much.

I'm not a "lounge in a bathrobe" type, but in the past, we've kept our house on the chill side...and robes are big, roomy, comfy, and warm. Lately, as I can't get warm, I I've been wearing my two fleece robes as clothing in the house, just like normal people might wear a light jacket or sweater or sweatshirt. The only difference is that I have a sweater or jacket or sweatshirt on under my robe.

Anything soft. That is what makes me happy these days. Soft.

Right now, it's 70F in my house, which is warm for us. I'm wearing plush pajama pants, smartwool socks, thick long sleeve cotton t-shirt, plush robe, soft wool hat, and am covered with a big, soft quilt. I'm not hot. I shouldn't need the quilt with the robe. But I do.

Regardless, everything is soft.

You may have noticed that I haven't said anything about pajama tops. In a nutshell, nothing works well. I prefer t-shirts: long sleeve for colder weather; short sleeve for warmer weather; tank tops for hot weather. Peri-menopause partly accounts for the lack of fleece on the upper half of my body. Fleece, sleep, and hot flashes aren't an ideal mix. However, I have been looking for shirts that are comfortable for sleep (and casual day wear at home) that button all the way up the front and are long enough not to scootch up in bed. I have to wear something after surgery next month. All recommendations are for things that button, due to limited arm mobility. Some people have recommended shirts that can be stepped into; however, I don't see how stepping into a shirt would be any less painful than pulling one over my head, except that I won't be able to lift my arms over my head for a period of time. I fail to see how I'll comfortably be able to pull a shirt up, over my hips and waist and get my arms in the sleeves and get the shirt onto my shoulders. Maybe I'll surprise myself.

So, I'm looking for t-shirt type, front closure, soft shirts suitable for pajamas. The ideal would be things I can wear out in public as well, in December and January. It is imperative that they be comfortable.

So far, I've come up with nothing ideal.

I have identified comfortable "street" pants that are non-plush double sided fleece...elastic waist, wide legged, and not looking like pajama pants. Someday soon, maybe they will be on sale and I will buy another pair in a different color. Meanwhile, I wear them several times a week. Warm, comfortable. Comfortable, warm. Wearing them is almost like teaching in my pajamas. Since I wear the same shirts to sleep in that I also wear to teach in some days (I do change between bed and work, don't panic...I mean they serve double duty), today wearing my fleece street pants was like teaching in my pajamas. If I weren't so paranoid about germs and, therefore, change my clothes when I come home from work, I'd sleep in the shirt I wore to school. It's one of my faves.

I've identified comfortable hats and scarves (none of which are "cancer" hats and scarves, by the way). I've identified comfortable pajama pants and robes. I have wonderful bedding and a plethora of pillows with super soft pillow cases (once again, Wal-Mart surprised me...Their Egyptian cotton pillow cases, which I found for $4 each are some of the nicest I've used, especially for the price). I have a wonderful, plush fleece electric blanket someone recently gave me that is phenomenal at reducing leg pain. I have quilts, which I've decided are better than comforters. I have a plethora of Smartwool and fleece socks. I have shoes that don't need to be tied after surgery. I have pull on winter boots. I have 'street' shirts for wearing after surgery, none of which will be good for sleeping. Adequate, but not good. Workable, but not ideal. I want ideal.

Suggestions?